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Generation X: I feel this is an appropriate label for my generation; the X represents the object of our quest, the search for that certain defining factor that is "me". The X in and of itself is not an all-encompassing quality that we share; it is the part of us that makes us each an individual. It seems like every twentysomething is searching for an identity, a sense of self, a sense of place. However, many Generation Xers face some type of obstacle during this quest, be it drug abuse, depression, or a sense of placelessness. Three authors of the time discuss this search for self and the challenges they met in the process: Wurtzel's depression in Prozac Nation, Martinez's Latino vs. American selves in The Other Side, and Bernstein's struggle against society's stereotypes in his article "Mixed Like Me". While exploring this theme, they take different views on these external factors; Bernstein disregards the impact the factors have on molding a person's identity while Wurtzel and Martinez take a more realistic view of the "obstacles" as defining characteristics of their personalities.
Bernstein is an extreme individualist who believes that the external factors in a person's life should not play a part in defining that person. His article recounts a brief autobiography that acquaints the reader with his beliefs. The groups he aligns himself with includes the Republican Party, the Jewish religion, and his African American heritage, yet Bernstein states "to me the most defining characteristic of who I am is not my race, ethnicity, religious beliefs, political party, or Tupperware club membership. Rather, I see myself as an individual first, part of the larger "human family" with all the suballegiances reduced to ancillary concerns" (66). Bernstein chooses to strip away these labels and groups and unite everyone with the common bond of humanity.
Bernstein's obstacles in his search for self were the stereotypes he faced of other people attempting to use these external characteristics to define him. For example, Bernstein writes, "as a black conservative, I was thought to have special insight into why more blacks didn't identify with the Republican Party"(63). Bernstein struggled to break through these stereotypes to be recognized as a human rather then "black", "Jewish", "Republican", or a combination of these labels. Bernstein believes that the "notion of "self" should not be wrapped up in externalities like "culture" or "race""(66). He feels that the individual should be celebrated rather than taking "phony pride in what their ancestors did"(66). He strongly believes that the outside forces around him are the obstacles that he must make people see beyond so that he can be recognized as a unique individual.
Elizabeth Wurtzel presents her memoirs of the harsh reality of a life of depression. She leads us from the onset of her depression at age eleven or twelve, and we follow her on a path of despair as she falls deeper and deeper into a pit of utter misery. At the beginning of her story, Wurtzel describes herself as a confused youngster who adopted the alternative persona of depression as a way of getting the attention that she starved. Then, she writes, "the alternative was really just me"(45). The true individual that Wurtzel was seeking out was hidden behind other's expectations of how she should be, which in turn became gradually clouded over with a wave of depression. To please her peers and her mother, Wurtzel masked her feelings in order to make herself "more the me that they wanted me to be"(45). Her search for her true self was obscured by all of these factors combined.
As a child, the turmoil within Wurtzel led her to attempt suicide, or at least attempt "to be not me for a little bit"(11). The question, though is who is that "me" that she was trying so desperately not to be? Her writing style and her stories about her life never give a clear answer to this question until the end; she simply toys with ideas and hypotheses about herself during the course of her book. She describes herself as the "girl who is lost in space, disappearing always"(61), and she finds herself wishing for a real ailment to make her depression more culturally acceptable (thus gaining the sympathy and pity she needs). The only part of herself that Wurtzel can identify at this point is that which she is not. She recognizes that she was "supposed to be an exotic little American Princess, a beautiful and brilliant bespectacled literature student"(108), and that she is the girl who has disappointed her mother (176), yet she cannot define who she really is because her depression gets in the way.
It is not until the conclusion of Prozac Nation that Wurtzel realizes that her depression, this obstacle that she has been trying to shove away to reveal the real Elizabeth for so long, could actually be a defining characteristic of her identity. She realizes that she has to live with depression; it is a part of her, maybe all of her. With this realization she writes about the need for people to think of the girl herself rather than the art she produces(296). Too often, clinically depressed people produce an extraordinary piece of literature, art, or music which is embraced as a masterpiece. The author, artist, or musician is then remembered solely for that contribution. Wurtzel argues that a person should be identified by the entire self, including the outside influences; after all, one great piece of art cannot compare to a lifetime. Wurtzel herself states, "I had fallen in love with my depression . . . because I thought it was all I had", but she was also "scared to give up depression" fearing that it was "all of her"(326-327). Wurtzel is able to embrace her depression as an influence on her identity; she does not toss it aside as Bernstein would. Instead, she draws strength from her past experiences with depression and uses these experiences to get through her life. Wurtzel's "obstacle" has become a part of her-of course, she is an individual and she is unique-her depression is just another factor that makes her unique.
Ruben Martinez describes his search for an identity in his book The Other Side. He relates his many struggles that tear him between countries, political loyalties, customs, and personalities on his "quest for a true center, for a cultural, political, and romantic home"(3). Martinez's book is a series of journal entries, poems, and short vignettes that come together to form an often confusing glimpse at his struggle. The style of his writing matches the mindset that he describes on paper, that feeling that he must be "South in the South, North in the North, South in the North and North in the South"(3). In other words, he feels it is necessary to change his behaviors depending on whether he is in Los Angeles with his immediate family or back in El Salvador with his other relatives.
Martinez is (among other things) a poet, a writer, and American with family ties to San Salvador, and his obstacle is to be able to "sign treaties with my various selves" so that they "can find some kind of form together without annihilating one another" (4). He recognizes the value in the rich heritage of his various selves, and his goal is to find a balanced combination of these to help create a meaningful definition of himself. His views are in sharp contrast to those of Bernstein, who would argue that it doesn't matter that he is a second generation immigrant from El Salvador, or that he writes poetry and prose for a living, or anything else for that matter other than that he is human. He is an individual with inner characteristics that define him. Martinez obviously feels that the environments and experiences he has encountered during the course of his life, though confusing, have helped to shape the person that he is today.
In the search for self, twentysomethings often run across obstacles that block their path. These obstacles can be seen in two different ways; on one hand, Bernstein regards these external influences as meaningless in the definition of self while on the other hand, Wurtzel and Martinez view the "obstacles" in a more positive light. They see how these struggles have helped to shape and influence the people they are; their obstacles in the quest for a true identity end up being incorporated into that identity. I believe that Martinez and Wurtzel are correct. One cannot deny characteristics that have nurtured one's personality-without them, a person would be different. Had I not spent the first ten years of my life in England, had my father's job in the oil industry not been transferred to Texas, I would not be the same person I am today. I value the experiences and opportunities that have crossed my path. To ignore them would be to lie. I AM an individual, and I AM unique. I argue that these external influences on my life make me even more so.